


I still love the colour red

by Catlover51, haiiro51



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Tsukki might die, bit of angst, but not really, happy end I swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-08-31 21:53:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8595133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catlover51/pseuds/Catlover51, https://archiveofourown.org/users/haiiro51/pseuds/haiiro51
Summary: The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.xIt's been two months since Tsukki started vomiting red rose petals every time he so much as thought about Yamaguchi.x“Why can’t it just be me, Tsukki? Why aren’t I good enough for you?” And Yamaguchi was crying at this point, he’s had a crush on Tsukki for ages now but he never let it become something more because he didn’t want to ruin their friendship and he knew that Tsukki could never feel the same way about him. And now here he is, in Tsukki’s room watching him vomit red rose petals because of a one sided love and it’s too much to take.





	

It's been two months since Tsukki started vomiting red rose petals every time he so much as thought about Yamaguchi. When it first started he wanted to tell Yamaguchi because he knew the younger boy would feel bad and start loving him out of guilt, but he deemed it selfish and decided not to say anything. At first the pain in his chest and throat was light, only a slight burn, but he could feel that every time he saw Yamaguchi smile or even talk to him that the plant in his chest was twisting tighter around his insides. He found it hard to breathe when he was close to Yamaguchi, he always knew that he was in love with the boy but didn't think it would go as far as him getting the hanahaki disease. As the weeks passed Tsukki could feel his appetite dropping and the pain in his chest getting worse.  
He managed to keep the disease a secret from everyone, well, almost everyone. His mom walked in on him vomiting the petals in the bathroom. She seemed genuinely worried about Tsukki and she asked who it is and when he told her it was Yamaguchi she didn’t seem surprised at all, she was quite accepting of it. Not that there was anything she could do about it at this point, since Tsukki obviously loved Yamaguchi too much for his own good. However, she did make him go see a doctor and he told Tsukki that he should get an operation because not only is the disease deadly but to boost it all he had a rose growing inside of him, and those were worse because roses have thorns and the thorns would eventually start growing into Tsukkis lungs and heart but Tsukki knew all about this already he read online about the disease as soon as he got it and found out that he could get surgery to remove the plant but he also read that that would erase all the feelings towards that person and that it was possible that you even forget that person all together and he didn’t ever want to forget Yamaguchi, he didn’t even want to stop loving the boy even if it hurt him. Tsukki knew that the hanahaki disease could be deadly if left alone for too long, that it would eventually clog up his respiratory system and his windpipe leading to eventual death due to lack of air but he also knew that he didn’t want to live with the giant gaping hole that would be left inside of him if the feelings towards Yamaguchi were removed. Falling in love with Yamaguchi was the best thing that happened to Tsukki and he made up his mind on not getting the surgery.  
Somehow he even managed to pull himself together during school and club activities and he made sure not to look tired, sick and like he was going to die the whole day, but he had to sneak to the bathroom more than often when the urge to vomit was too much for him to handle. Every day when he managed to drag himself home after splitting with Yamaguchi he would just fall flat on his bed, too tired and in too much pain to do anything else. He made himself eat regularly because the last thing he needed was to collapse during club activities due to lack of sleep or because he wasn’t eating well. Although sleep was not an issue because that was mostly everything Tsukki did since he got the disease, eating was. Every time he put food in his mouth he had an urge to go vomit but he made himself eat everything of off his plate.  
~  
That didn’t last very long, after around four months since his diagnosis Tsukki stopped eating regularly and even had trouble sleeping because of the pain, he was feeling tired more often and didn’t have the strength to get out of bed. But, he made himself look as normal as possible during school and practice even if his body felt heavy and he thought he wouldn’t be able to move it. His parents tried to convince him not to go to practice, even school, but he _had_ to, he didn’t want all of his trouble and effort to go to waste at this point. One day after he willed himself to take a shower he noticed the bruises over most part of his chest and he remembered that the doctor said that that will happen when the plant grows too much and starts growing into his organs. He was thinking about skipping practice that week because how was he supposed to explain the bruises to his friends when they change for practice? But he decided to just wear his practice shirt under his uniform and just change his pants. Yamaguchi looked a bit surprised by this but didn’t say anything.  
~  
Five months passed since then and Tsukki started avoiding going to school because it was getting harder to fight the urge to just vomit during class. His parents seemed relieved that he stopped pushing himself so much but at the same time worried because that meant he was getting worse. They made him see a doctor again and the doctor was surprised Tsukki lived this long and he told them he didn’t have much time left and that he should seriously consider getting the surgery and his parents tried to convince him that it was okay to let go of the feelings he had for Yamaguchi, but Tsukki made it crystal clear that he was _not_ getting that surgery.  
Yamaguchi tried to visit Tsukki every day that the older boy didn’t go to school but on days that Tsukki felt especially bad he made his mom lie that he was asleep and that they’ll just see each other some other day when this happens Yamaguchi texts Tsukki telling him to get better as soon as possible. Tsukishima feels bad that he has to lie, well, technically he isn’t lying, he is sick, only this won’t pass for a week or two. The only way for this to pass is for Yamaguchi to fall in love with him and he knows that won’t happen which is why he still won’t tell Yamaguchi what’s wrong with him. Sometimes he wants to but it’s so hard, how do you tell someone that you’re basically dying because they don’t love you back? He doesn’t want Yamaguchi to feel burdened by this. Tsukki decided to keep this to himself for as long as possible and it was still possible so there was no way he was going to ruin Yamaguchi’s happiness.  
~  
Tsukki hasn’t been to school for almost two weeks and he made his mom lie to Yamaguchi every time the boy showed up at his house after school. He knew that Yamaguchi was probably worried sick at this point since Tsukki never missed school for two whole weeks let alone avoided seeing him for the same amount of time even if they did text almost every day. And he did feel bad for hurting Yamaguchi but he figured the boy would just give up on trying to see Tsukki and be happy that at least they’re talking. However, that was not the case. It was the second Friday that Tsukki missed school, he was in bed and he could hear the doorbell. He already informed his mother beforehand that she shouldn’t let Yamaguchi in, she didn’t look pleased with Kei but he knew that she would still listen to him. Tsukki heard footsteps and he just assumed it was his mother coming up to tell him that it was Yamaguchi again, but when his door opened he didn’t see his mother but rather Yamaguchi. Tsukki looked honestly shocked and it was already too late to hide the rose petals that were scattered all over his bed.  
“Well, shit.” Tsukki mumbled when he saw Yamaguchi’s eyes grow wide as he dropped the bag he was holding.  
“What is this?” Yamaguchi asked in a low and pained voice.  
“What does it look like, Yamaguchi?” Tsukki cursed himself mentally at how pathetic that sounded, Yamaguchi deserved an explanation not his harsh words.  
“Because of who?” Yamaguchi asked and Tsukki just decided to ignore the question, none of this would’ve happened if his mother just listened to him. And before he could stop himself he was vomiting even more rose petals onto his bed. And when he lifted his head he saw Yamaguchi’s pale face and a worried expression.  
“I’m fine” Tsukki tried to assure Yamaguchi.  
“Please answer my question, Tsukki.” And once again Tsukishima just averted his gaze from Yamaguchi, he thought about his options. He could lie that it’s because of someone else, tell Yamaguchi the truth or just pretend he died. Since he didn’t really like lying to Yamaguchi and he couldn’t really tell him the truth now, he was seriously considering his third option before Yamaguchi stopped his train of thought.  
“Why can’t it just be me, Tsukki? Why aren’t I good enough for you?” And Yamaguchi was crying at this point, he’s had a crush on Tsukki for ages now but he never let it become something more because he didn’t want to ruin their friendship and he knew that Tsukki could never feel the same way about him. And now here he is, in Tsukki’s room watching him vomit red rose petals because of a one sided love and it’s too much to take.  
Tsukki stared at Yamaguchi in disbelief, like it could be anyone but Yamaguchi, it’s always been Yamaguchi. Tsukki figured it was time to tell him.  
“It is you. You’ve always been good enough, you’ll always _be_ good enough, Yamaguchi.”  
Yamaguchi just stared at him, trying to figure out what he just said. And Tsukki swears he can see the moment Yamaguchi’s eyes light up as he realizes that Tsukki is in love with him and he surprises Tsukki because he starts crying again only this time he goes over to Tsukki and places his lips on the older boys.  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Yamaguchi asks between kisses.  
Honestly, Tsukki is just too confused at the moment to think. Because Yamaguchi is here and he’s kissing him and he seems happy about it. And Kei doesn’t know what to think about the whole situation. Is Yamaguchi forcing himself because he feels bad for Tsukki? “I..I don’t know. Why are you kissing me?” It’s hard to talk with Yamaguchi constantly pressing their lips together.  
“I thought I wasn’t very subtle with my crush for you, but I guess I was too subtle. You should have told me sooner.” And he’s crying again “I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were in pain, Tsukki. I’m so sorry.”  
“It’s not your fault, it’s mine for not telling you. Please don’t cry Yamaguchi.” however, Tsukki didn’t look very convincing with the tears escaping his eyes.  
**A few weeks later**  
Tsukki stopped vomiting petals some time ago because Yamaguchi returned his feelings. And that was something Tsukki never expected to happen but he’s so glad it did because Yamaguchi is so sweet. And even though nothing really changed between them except they kiss now, hold hands occasionally when they’re going home and go on dates every weekend. They also have sleepovers more than they did before, so they could spend as much time together as possible even though they never really sleep, instead they stay up most of the night talking, watching movies and cuddling.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed reading!


End file.
